Kitchen Catastrophes: Cooking under the influence

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Kitchen Catastrophes: Cooking under the influence

I ripped my rotator cuff in very late October 2013, and had surgery two weeks later. For the next two week, I was well-medicated and well-cared-for. Depending on your definition of “functional,” I might have been “functional.”

I have forgotten almost everything from that time except one trip to the emergency room. Later, though, I was able to articulate a new Rule of Life: Morphine Makes You Stupid.  Your culinary judgement will be impaired.

  1. It will never be a good idea to poach beautiful fresh figs in diet ginger ale. Under the influence, I conflated poached pears and poached figs, and somehow imagined that off-brand diet ginger ale would stand in for really good red wine.
  2. Operating on the principal that “Fried is delicious,” I put a load of Chinese leftovers into the food processor to make little fry-able patties. I was unable to consider that not every flavor is a good match for every other. Ma Po Tofu, excellent on its own, is no friend to other flavors.
  3. No matter how quick you are with the food processor’s PULSE button, you will over-process biscuit dough and make hideous hockey pucks.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

About susangainen

Whimsical Wildlife Documentarian. Abstract Painter. Writer. Teacher. Explorer.
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1 Response to Kitchen Catastrophes: Cooking under the influence

  1. Your article is very helpful thank you very much for sharing .

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