Kitchen Catastrophes: Mistake were made is a true story.
Sometimes baking for “fun” is a very very bad idea. Yes, the four bananas on the counter were screaming “Banana Bread!!” I should have roasted them, and put them in the freezer for a better baking adventure.
Mistakes were made. Learn from them:
Don’t blame the Bananas
1. Don’t bake when you are very very tired;
2. Don’t do discretionary baking when you aren’t super-double-keen on the recipe or the intended result;
3. Don’t re-read the instructions. Rely on your memory. It’s always great when you are tired.
4. Don’t set out a mis-en-place. Grabbing ingredients on the fly is so adventurous.
5. When substituting butter for shortening:
(a) If you must thaw the butter, slice the precise amount that you need because:
(1) if you aren’t paying attention, you will use one cup instead of 2/3 cup;
(2) you may then try to adjust the ingredients without doing math –– even on the back of the butter wrappers — so that you:
(a) forget to add more sugar;
(b) forget to add more salt, baking powder and spices;
(b) Don’t be surprised when the result achieves a Trifecta of Bad Baking:
(1) Flat (not enough salt);
(2) Dull (not enough sugar); and
(3) Bland (not enough spices).
6. Don’t bother with the usual fixes:
(a) Toast:Even toasting, which you might expect would sharpen up the candied ginger and crisp up the almonds that you added instead of walnuts, will only make boring bland flavorless heavy and scary toast; or
(b) Bread Pudding: This would be an insult to the custard, which, unless it contains an overwhelming amount of your best bourbon (a waste, which might then create its own problems), it will never make up for the underlying failure of Bad Bland Banana Bread.